How to Manage Defiance in Children ?


It’s normal for children to disobey you or act in defiance of what you want them to do. So how do you deal with this? Being one of the top ICSE schools in Patiala, we have compiled some effective tips for you that you can try.

Start with Establishing Expectations

When you assign responsibilities and household chores to children, make sure that they are all age-appropriate. If you give them tasks that are too burdensome according to their age then they are likely to act out while performing them. If possible, break down these tasks into smaller parts to make it easier for the kids.

Understand the Root Cause of the Behaviour

To effectively deal with defiance in children, you need to find your way to its root cause. There’s almost always a pattern in which children react and behave. Which particular things do they not like and do not want to do? Are they irritated when they are under pressure? Getting to the root of the problem enables you to take appropriate steps to make your children toe the line.

Avoid Delicate Situations

We all have our own pet peeves that annoy us and so do children. It may be that in certain situations your child behaves more disobediently because he finds it uncomfortable. Like, he may get defiant and throw a fit if you ask him to clean his cupboard when he already has a lot of homework and other extracurricular activities lined up. It’s best to avoid such situations and go about them with patience and ease.

Compromise is Important

It’s cold outside and your child wants to go outside to play with his friends even though you know he might get sick. If you don’t allow, the child will get upset. But if you do, he might get sick. So what do you do? Arrive at a compromise. Tell your kid that he can play if he puts on an extra layer of clothing and a warm beanie. Give in to your child’s demands while holding your own to maintain peace.

Give Them Options

Children like to have a say in what are doing as this makes them feel heard and valued. This is also an excellent way to curb defiance in them. Whenever you want them to do something, give them some options and the freedom to choose. You want them to put out the trash? Give them some leeway like when they can put it out, how many times a day, etc. Let them decide.

Being the leading ICSE school in Patiala, we understand how difficult it can be for parent to control defiant kids and hope these tips will help you.

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